I don’t want a work -life balance.  I  just want a life.

Who ever decided that you needed to spend 8 hours (or more for some) being seriously miserable doing something to earn the cash which you then take and pay for your basic housing needs and to fund your afterwork fun, enjoyment and peace -(if you’re lucky enough to have XXXincome).

I just wish I had understood it really was possible to do what you love all day and everyday and earn your money doing it.

I’ve spent this weekend  at internet marketing seminar and I’ve been priveliged to meet two remarkable young men who have made decisions not to follow the prescribed path through exams and university and instead start their own business.  I was also able to save our son from the same fate, but it was a close thing.  Elliot was heading off to Uni to study Pychology.  We were just having one of those ad-hoc chats which you don’t really expect to lead anywhere when I asked him why he had picked that subject.  It turned out he wasn’t in love with the idea of studying the subject; wasn’t looking forward to the student lifestyle.  He thought he needed to go to uni to grow a better income.  A degree was just the next step forward.  I started to wonder what my life could have been like if I’d thought to look left or right at other options.

When I started to suggest he rethink his decision, I don’t think anyone was more suprised than me.  After all, I’d spent 10 years at uni and I’d done well using my qualifications.  But the key here is that I’d done well within the confines of the narrow world I was living in.  In the micro world of local government, I was a high earner.  I just wasn’t a high earner as far as the business world was concerned.  I was worth more than I was being paid.  I was worth more than my qualifications suggested.  Instead of helping me to succeed, they had held me back.  The pursuit of success became the achievement of adding more qualifications to my name.  What for?  Recognition of some sorts.  Who knows.

What I understand now is that you will never get rich working for someone else, being paid only when your bum is on the seat.  You need to leverage your time.  Don’t get me wrong here – you can be paid very well but you will never be rich.  But what of those people who invest their money – well that’s the point isn’t it.  They are taking the money they have been paid as PAYE and leveraging it by investing to accrue interest or growth.  Why not just cut out the middle step and generate your income by leveraging your time in the first place.

I wish I had known about MLM -multi level marketing 20 years ago.  What a fantastic system.  And today the internet is opening up new opportunities for people who can gather and reprocess information for others to use.  THIS could be where my years of study come into play.  One thing I can sure do is take volumes of words and reorganise them into a more palatable read.  (Notwithstanding that this is my freeflow waffly blog).

A golden age is upon us for becoming truly wealthy.  I  intend to take part.

And Elliot – the child destined for uni – well he didn’t go.  He started his own business as a personal trainer (yippee – no fees, plus he earns more per hour as a new starter in business than me after 25 years in local government) .   But more than that.  Starting your own business, getting clients, dealing with negative feedback toughens you up a bit and I think these challenges prepared him for success when he faced the Admiratly Interview Board this year.

Well this one did ramble on a bit didn’t it.

To you and yours.

Related articles by Zemanta

• Creating Work Life Balance (womenshealth.suite101.com)
• Work-Life Balance and All the Joy You Can Stand (chicagonow.com)
• Beyond Nine to Five: Tips for Improving Your Work-Life Balance (eon.businesswire.com)

Related posts

• How I Unwittingly Let Breast Cancer Steal My Dreams (0)
• Day Off (0)

There’s a new regime in the Murphy-Jennings household. We’ve implemented a day off! It’s going to be every Saturday and I’ve decided that I want to spend at least 1 of those precious hours writing on my blog.

We’ve got other blogs, but they’re professional (such as Leaving the armed forces) which is one I’m particularly engrossed in at the moment and this one tends to get left behind because it’s just a few musings from me.  You’re going to find bad spellings and appalling grammar.  So be gentle.

Back to the day off and why we’ve had to impose it as a regime into our week.  We love what we do and so we get to the end of the day and we’ve spent 18 hours glued to the phone, computer and other wizzy gadgets.  To us it doesn’t seem like work, but still it can lead to cluttering of the brain.

So, whilst we’re dropping the number of hours we think we’re spending in our business, I prepared to bet that our productivity for the remainder of the hours is going to shoot up.

And if it doesn’t?  So what.  I’m off to ‘do’ a bit of my rug.

Why don’t you give it a try.

To you and yours

Sian

Related articles by Zemanta

• It is possible to have a life outside of the lab. (blogs.uslhc.us)

Related posts

• Jam Today (0)
• Bugger A Work-Life Balance (1)

Are You Wasting Energy Trying To Be Liked?

Deep down I believe  most of us want to be popular.   In with the  crowd.  Part of the gang.

It must attract a few of us or there wouldn’t be the market for those clubs and groups which create an aire of exclusivity, until you’re practically panting to belong.   So why does it matter?

Have you ever heard someone say “I don’t care what people think about me?”

As an NLP practioner, whenever I hear someone making this bold statement then straight off I wonder if really they are desparately concerned about what people think about them.  Now before you accuse me of being colossaly arrogant, I feel qualified to come right out and suggest this because it was my mantra for 25 years.  I was well known for it.  My mates and work colleagues would speak fondly of my devil-may-care attitude.  What’s scary is how many years my brain managed to delude me into believing  I  didn’t give a toss. You wouldn’t have guessed mind you.  I’ve got more front than Blackpool – as long as I’m in my comfort zone.

And you can always be in your comfort zone when you only do what you’re good at, and only mix with people who like you.

I came accross the concept of 33% of people you meet just hating you when I was at an internet marketing seminar a couple of weeks ago.  It was being discussed in the context of how to manage your’ list’ (that’s your list of subscribers who sign up to get reports,  recommendations and products from you). What it means is that about a third of subscribers will hate what you write, do and sell. What’s more some of them will go out of their way to tell you the precise details of their disapproval and loathing. They can’t just unsubscribe and wander away unheard, no, you have to know what’s wrong with you and it’s their job to tell you!  Some of them may have joined up just so they could not like what you do.  They need whinge fodder and you send it directly to  their inbox.  What a service!

But why is it so important that we understand the concept of the 33%? It’s because you’ve not done anything wrong, they just don’t like you. Some of the great practitioners of our time believe that  when we meet someone who gets on our nerves, it’s because they’re exhibiting the very behaviour which we do ourselves – and don’t admire much.  In other words, they are seeing in us a truly grotty little bit of themselves.  And that’s rather annoying if you’re trying to hide your horrid bits from yourself.  But what can you do as the hatee?  Even if you manage to work out what their repugnant  little  nugget is, chances are they’re still going to hate you and unless you constantly shift  personality (and risk appearing untrue, two-faced and possibly rather disturbed) , then you are never going to be able to tweek everyones’ chummy button.

When you understand about the miffed third then  you can relax. You can get out there with your business, your life, your mates and be yourself.  Let it all hang out and dangle freely for all to see. Why worry about pleasing everyone you meet?  How do you react when you find out that someone doesn’t like you. Do you shrug it off, or spend time running through your mind what it could possibly be about you that’s turned them off. When was the last time you did a similar excercise but examining  why your mates or partner like and love you?

How much time do we spend fretting over someone’s dislike, or trying to please a disapproving colleague, compared to the time we spend nurturing the fantastic relationships we already have or will develop in the future.

If you run a business, do you spend a disproportionate amount of time trying to please the unpleasable customer. How good will you feel when you set them free and start dancing with the clients who just get you.  How many times do we hold back with really getting out there just because we are worried about what others will think?  Well now you don’t have too because you know what they’ll think.  33% of them will just hate you.  Fine.  Now you can get out there for the rest of them, those whose lives you are going to change.

What actually matters is that when they do find you, then some of them will just adhore you. Doesn’t that rock?

Related posts

• No related posts.

I’ve been listening on and off (whilst hoovering, cooking and running around) to an audio of Dale Carnegie’s book,  How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.

I can’t say I’ve been tuning into every single word, and that’s not a poor reflection on the book which is an easy tiptoe between anecdotes and ideas.  It was during one such dip-in that I heard  ‘Jam Today.’  I’m explaining my poor attention just in case Dale explained how  ‘Jam Today’ is a world famous concept first postulated by someone ludicrously famous, and about whom I still know SFA.

One of the antidotes to worrying, which is suggested by Mr Carnegie, is living in the present. Now I know I’ve heard that before, but I’m not sure I truly understood what it meant for me and ‘Jam Today’ explained it very well.  So here it is…

We remember the good times in our yesterdays when we might have had jam

We look forward to the good times to come, when we will have jam

But we don’t have Jam Today.

Instead of enjoying every single minute of today, are we looking forward to our next day, or our next era, when we’ll finally get to have a real great time? And then I started thinking the concept through further.  A bit of extrapolation (and on a Monday Evening!).

It’s not just about ‘tomorrowing’ with the fun things in life. Are you trying to lose weight?  Even if you’re not personally, then maybe you know someone, or can imagine someone, eating the chocolate cake today and bargaining with themselves to eat less or go for a run tomorrow? And then tomorrow they eat the donut a mate buys them because tomorrow they’ll eat less and go for a run……..and so the bum never shrinks.  I should know.

What about paying for luxuries on a credit card because you deserve the treat  right now – you just don’t have the cash – right now.  And when did it a bit of pleasure get so costly?

I’m not going to pretend that my entire ethos has spun 180 degrees in few days, but I can feel a few changes.  Today for instance I didn’t have the cream scone with lashings of good intentions about calorie burning tomorrow.

I also sat down for over an hour with a Harry Potter.  No personal development involved.  No meaningful out-put.  Just to enjoy myself.   For free.

Best wishes to you

Related posts

• Day Off (0)